I think I like the idea of people. Not actual people, they get annoying. I know I do. But the idea of community. That all of us annoying people somehow blend together in our missing parts and make up for the loss with silliness or sadness, laughter or tears.
There are people who say, “That’s funny. That’s very funny.” But never manage to laugh. They clean computer screens that aren’t even theirs. That would kill me. I laugh before it’s funny. I laugh just to laugh. I don’t even clean my own computer screen. But we need each other. For some reason we’re wired from birth with circuits that only work when some other person completes the loop. When several others complete several loops we can feel the electric hum. That’s community. Some days I go so deep inside my head I even scare myself. Even rabid animals shake their heads in amazement.
We were made to get out. Out of ourselves. For some it is a struggle. For me it is like breathing. My thoughts echo too loudly and seem so useless unless I share them. I am a pilgrim of words. To truly think my thoughts I must speak them out, or write them down. Out and down to make sense of the in and up.
These are my thoughts. These are my needs. They are yours if you will have them.
I’ll be at the bookstore until close. Hope to hear from you.